God's pharmacy

Now for my first chain email evisceration:

http://www.whyagain.com/media/Gods_Pharmacy.pdf

Here's a good one.

When Gaaawud (pronounced like a southern Baptist preacher) made the world, he left us a whole buncha useful clues as to which foods are good for us.... by making the foods that are good for certain body parts.... shaped like said body parts.

.....really?

If you haven't seen it, check the link.

I've gotten a ton of people saying: "Oooooh, isn't that cool! It's so mind-blowing, but it's right! Wow!!!!"

My initial thought is - there are an ABUNDANCE of things out there that are good for your penis, by this logic.

I could go on for days with that game. In any case, none of these plant specimens are known for their penis health benefits, as far as I know. Go on. Go to the grocery store. See how many fruits and/or vegetables are phallic in shape....

Enough with the phallice argument. Let's address some stuff that's in the email.

Carrots:

Notice the pupil-like center.... the radiating lines of the iris... GASP! Carrots are loaded with vitamin A, and that's good for your eyes!!!! IT IS A SIGN!!!

Also notice the tubular tapered structure of a carrot when not cut into cross sections. Notice the bright orange color. Notice the rigid structure. Notice the plume of leaves coming off the top and the stringy roots coming off the sides and bottom. None of these things are terribly similar to your eyeball by my understanding.

Notice the fact that any brightly orange colored vegetable is a good source of vitamin A. Sweet potatoes, cantaloupes, papayas, mangoes, and pumpkins all seem to suspiciously lack a freaky magical pupil cross section. Actually, when you look at the ovary of a frog during a dissection, the abundance of wet, black seeds kind of reminds me of the inside of a papaya.

I'm willing to bet that frogs who eat a diet high in papaya will not have robust, extra-healthy ovaries. They'll be getting tons of digestive enzyme and vitamin A, but that is to no avail for super-powered ovaries. Yet, to me, the inside of this papaya looks much more like the frog ovaries than the carrot looked like my eye. Well look at that - a coincidence. Those happen? Yes. Yes they do.

I won't individually conquer each example posed in the email because, honestly it's too easy and would be unnecessary. But there was one that I couldn't leave alone:

"Celery, Bok choy, and rhubarb look just like bones."

Come on. This is just really, really, really reaching. Show me one human bone that has a distinct crescent-shaped cross section. Also, this is under the premise that all bones are long and rod-like. Bones include the scapula, cranium, patella, vertebrae, sternum, etc, etc, etc. The radius and ulna (bones of the fore-arm) are the most likely candidate for celery-ness. They still really don't look like celery. Whatever idiot decided to write this garbage thought that the celery comparison was profound. That truly wins a medal for stupidity.

You may be thinking: "Well, it's a pretty thought. Why does this bother you? You're full of hate and negativity."

There are PLENTY of reasons to want this kind of bullshit explained and debunked. Check out the first part of the email:

"It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… all before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw.

We’re such slow learners…God left us a great clues as to what foods help what part of our body"

#1: This advances the American anti-science/creationist agenda. Far too many Americans have no regard for scientific truth. As of 2004, 44% believed that a deity just sculpted humans in their present form within the last 10,000 years. From what I've experienced in countless conversations, many believe it was 6 to 7 thousand years ago (by the way, that also includes the creation of the entire planet). The oldest known beer recipe predates their "history" of the world. These people disdain the scientific community's advances in anthropology, archaeology, geology, etc, but are completely willing to accept a heart transplant. These people need to either decide to trust or distrust science. America is so far behind in science and math education, it's sickening. THAT is NOT a coincidence.

#2: The statement that "we're such slow learners" implies that the scientific community has been failing us the entire time that they weren't telling us to eat food shaped like organs. Hooray, now we know that everything round is good for your cells, and therefore good for your entire body (since it's entirely made of cells). Those good-for-nothing scientists can't figure out anything. Now I'll go take my antibiotics and drive my car and go visit my uncle with a pacemaker to tell him how slow scientists are on the uptake.

#3: This is spreading misinformation. In fact, it's misinformation that detracts from gaining a real knowledge of nutrition and healthy eating habits. Why learn about real health habits when I can walk into a grocery store, pick up a honeydew melon, and assume it will prevent breast cancer?

#4: The people talking about this garbage could be ACTUALLY LEARNING SOMETHING instead.

#5: It's incredibly irritating. (yes, I know that's not a legitimate debate point, but it's MY blog.)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a taco - for vaginal health.